Making Friends as an Adult is Yucky

Making new friends as an adult is a yucky and awkward business if you’re not a natural friend-maker.  Some people are, I have a friend who has relocated several times and always seems to find a group of close friends wherever she lands.  But for the rest of us, it can be a daunting process.  I’ve never had even a bit of this friend’s natural friend-making ability (which is very different from just being “friendly”).

• Nursery School – no friends at all, played alone.  Scared my mother one day when the teachers couldn’t find me.  I was hiding in an indoor playscape.
• Elementary School – friend who was a natural friend-maker lived across the street so I rode her coattails through middle school.
• High School – no friends at school; but when I started working in retail and fast food I found camaraderie with the other teens and finally had my own group. And there was one good friend who sought me out because she noticed I loved Adam Ant as much as she did.
• College – friendships mostly based on roommates and their ability to make friends
• Working World – made friends with those in my “training class” and finally did cultivate a few friendships on my own (well, it’s about time!)
• Home with a Newborn – whoa, nothing prepared me for this glut of friends.  I expected a Lucy & Ethel relationship with one of my neighbors but as I pushed the stroller past the homes during the day they were silent. It took me a couple of years to find other homemakers in the neighborhood and then to find someone whose company I really enjoyed was another challenge.

About this time one of my friends from that training class explained that making friends as an adult was kind of like dating.  You start by getting a phone number, then gauge receptiveness to getting together with the kids. Finally you see if you can branch beyond mommyhood to doing something without the kids or even having a phone conversation that isn’t about drop-offs, pick-ups or which kids have a cold.

Currently I’ve discovered several new friendships forming and I’m proud of this because they were ones I actively chose.  With my new interest in healthy living I think I’ve become a better “potential friend.”  Being happier with myself, I’m more willing to approach others and suggest a get-together.  Being someone who is activiely promoting a positive lifestyle makes me more attractive to others as a friend. 

So ladies, as we pursue our #GoRedGetFit goals be assured that our healthy lifestyle reaps many rewards.  We are healthier in body AND in mind; and that healthy mind allows us to spread our internal goodness (love) to those around us.