Don't Talk to Your Toddlers in the Car

*** I'm clearing out my computer files and posting any unpublished blog postsn: this one should be filed under Parenting Tips! ***

When my 2^nd child was approaching the talking age, I told myself not to answer him in the car; let him just get used to talking to himself.  Why, did I purposely squelch my infant’s emerging vocal curiosity? Because when my first baby started talking in the car I had responded to everything she said.  I clarified and asked leading questions. Oh, I was entranced by her intelligence and how easy it was to teach her descriptive words. …She said “truck.” And I said “yes, there goes a big truck.” Next time she’d say “big truck.” And I’d say “what do you think is in the big truck?” … But, I forgot where I was going!  With a talking 2 yr old and an almost 1 yr old in the car, I suddenly lost the ability to plan a logical route for my errands.  I needed some sanity!

Once my sanity somewhat returned and I added another small cherub to my minivan, I decided the key was to lead the conversation.  Here’s a game I started playing with the children when they were about 5 years old.  Today I played it with my 9 year old and realized that she has been heavily influenced by the GPS when she told me to “press destination” and “type in our address.”

“Take Me Home” Game (ages 5 and up)

1.   Ask your child to give you directions to a familiar destination.  Start with something very easy, for example: when you are within 2 blocks from home ask her to tell you how to get home. 
2. Instruct your child on correct terms for giving directions: turn right, proceed straight through the traffic light, etc.
3. Remind them that you need to know what is coming up, because the driver cannot make sudden stops or turns.
4. Allow them to steer you the wrong way!  This is fun as they realize “oh no, we past the turn!” Depending on their level, turn around and let them help you get back on the right route.  Today with my 9 year old, she was able to have me turn at the next street and figure out how to return to the route without turning around,
5.   Add street names once they have mastered giving simple directions.  Warn them that you’ll be asking for street names next trip and point them out.  When he says “turn right at the next street,” repeat back “so, I turn right at Maple St.”

The bonuses of this game are the children:

•          Learn the street names of their own neighborhood
•          In an emergency will be able to give directions to their home
•          Become observers of their surroundings
•          Learn step procedures
•          Build confidence

Call? Text? Email? How Do You Prioritize so many Communication Choices?

I left a message on a Dad’s landline answering machine about arranging car pool for our daughters.  He never heard the message and laughed that he only uses his cell phone now.

A co-volunteer emailed me at 9:11a.m. with a change in instructions for my volunteer shift at 1:30pm.  I didn’t read my email until 4:00pm

How do we communicate as we approach the year 2017?  Is there an etiquette defined?

Here’s my personal process –not right or wrong, but my way of doing things and why. 

Landline phone – appointment reminders, conversation, middle of the night emergencies. I grew up with a landline and still use it as my primary contact.  For most instances when I give my phone number, it’s not to someone I want to ring my cell while I’m grocery shopping or watching a soccer game. Multi-tasking may be great for some people, but I enjoy single focus in my life – I believe the catchy term is “mindfulness.”

Cell phone – call backs from doctors , customer service reps, etc. (when told to call that number). Texts for anything you need a response to within an hour or so.  I generally will check on my phone hourly so if the co-volunteer had texted I would’ve received it.  My kids know that if I’m driving they need to call because I will not touch my phone while driving (I have blue tooth).  They can also call when I’m grocery shopping or watching a soccer game: different rules apply for those closest in my life.

Email – shopping receipts, meeting minutes, anything that doesn’t need an immediate response. I check my email daily: often early morning then again later in the afternoon.  My job doesn’t communicate with me via email nor does my immediate family for urgent information so I have no reason to monitor my email hourly.

I work as a substitute teacher and I’m not always in a school or location in the school that gets service. So when I spend the day at work, I may get a break to check texts or missed calls but I have no reason to check email.

Social Media Messenging services: I’ll receive Facebook messenger like a text on my phone because I’ve set it up that way.  One of my sons has shoddy cell service in his dorm, so he will send me a messenger  text from his wired computer.  But some people have messaged me through Twitter and Words with Friends: I’m less likely to see those than to see email so besides the occasional “good word!” those methods aren’t effective for me.

Have you experienced communication breakdown in the digital age? How do you prioritize what method to use?

 I could spend another essay discussing the difference between a proper communications in each method: brevity vs. politeness.  Even more on all of the opportunities for personal contact that really should not be missed just because a text is convenient.